Like Nobody is Watching

Been gone a few days and no one is checking for me.

And I think I kinda like it.

I think most bloggers want a huge following with tons of comments, followers and activity. I think people like the numbers, but it does come with some stress.

Can you write honestly while appealing to the masses? You can, but you will probably piss some people off. Or you could have a great following who agrees with your every word. Personally, I am a lurker. I usually read the comments and discuss the topic with my husband.

I am not big on social media. Not on facebook, tumblr, etc. Just got an instagram last summer. I like it, but most of my followers want me to buy a waist trainer, bundles of weave or some weight loss pill. So, my followers obviously don’t like me the way that I am.

Yes, life will be some much better with a snatched waist, 20 inch hair and slimmer thighs.

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Friends

 

Why is it so hard to make friends after college?

Speaking of that, I am 31 and most of my friends I talk to on the phone, but hardly ever see. Get this, we live in the same city. My best friend lives less than 10 miles away and I saw her 3-4 times last year. I get it that people have responsibilities, kids, families and all of that other shit, but if we are really cool, we are really cool. I mentioned this to her the few times I saw her, but now I am over it. It sounds petty as fuck, but I am going to put as much energy into you as you are into me. So where do people find friends? I found my husband on Craigslist and that worked out fine. Do I make an ad? Join a club? I’m confused.

 

MLK’s Price to Pay

He didn’t die for civil rights.

He was assassinated by the government.

In 1999, the US government admitted guilt and gave the King family $100 for their grief.

Land of the Free. Home of the Brave.

And people have the nerve to get offended when we say ‘Black Live Matters’.

 

Eye of the Tiger

Not to be on some resolution shit because I hate that shit. I feel more of a fresh start when the school year starts in August than in January. Lately, I’ve been really on some focused shit. Professionally, I am happy. I work at a school where I like the people and the kids are pretty decent. Plus, I live a mile away. So, that’s what’s up.

Financially, I am a work in progress. Sallie Mae or Navient or whoever the fuck they want to be today is still riding my hood, but Ima take care of that. I’ve been saving my coins and been more focused on mindless spending which is a HUGE problem for me. Last night, I went to Nordstrom Rack and didn’t spend a dime. I had some earrings (2 pairs) in the basket, but I said no. It was only gonna be like $20, but still. Like I said, I’m on some focused shit.

Personally, I’ve been on some truth with myself and others. Not the harsh, ugly type of truth, but the type of truth you tell someone without them wanting to bash your head in when you walk away. I have tact, love. I live in the South. My makeup skills are improving and my skin is getting clear at a glacial pace, but it’s all good.

 

Manic Monday

So far this school year, I used a day and half of my vacation time.

This is a record for me because I usually blow through 5-7 days by now.

When I was in school, I never got perfect attendance. I used to scoff at the kids who made perfect attendance for the year. It was an accomplishment for me to attend school on a Monday. Jerry Springer used to have the best episodes on Monday and Fridays. I know this because I used stay home and watch.

Evidence<Faith

My faith exceeds my evidence.

The evidence against me: female, black, student loan-ridden, chubby, past experiences, horrible choices and other negative things I could or could not control.

My faith tells me that I can organize a group to help gang members off the street and into employment. Also, my faith tells me that I can put myself on a budget so that I can reach personal goals such as a true savings account.

Thinking of my goals: The evidence says my goals are impossible, but my faith says my goals are within reach.

You can bring yourself out of any situation with the right information.

 

Looking 4ward…

I am thankful for my loving husband who listens and loves me. It is a true blessing to have someone who loves you even when you are at your worst.

It makes me sad that some people believe that marriage is dead or miserable sacrifice for the other person with no fulfillment for yourself. People think it’s cool to say ‘Fuck love’, but I feel those people should be a fuck you in place for the person that made them feel that way about love.

It ain’t cool to string someone along and give them false hope of a relationship that you never want to be in or even desire for yourself. It ain’t cool to lie to a woman/man about being faithful when you are messing around all over town.

Rant’s over.

Whew.

My husband is kind, loving and thoughtful. In a world that is cold and heartless, it is a sensational feeling to know that someone has your back and your heart.

 

Questions of the Day

Why is it harder to find (and to keep) friends?

Why do people of color support Donald Trump?

Why do people lie about being members of Greek organizations?

If you have extremely long nails (1 inch and longer), how do you wipe your ass?

Will I will be able to put myself on a budget so I can afford to go to Miami this summer?

 

 

Neon Lights

Open.

To enter; to divulge; to understand on an intimate level.

I want to be open about who I am. It only took 31 1/2 years. This blog is open for whoever needs it. Not too concerned with numbers, comments or likes.

I don’t have a plan. I never do. I usually scrap it from the beginning or veer off the path eventually. Fuck it. Why bother?

Neon lights are so beautiful. When you see them, it means something. It’s either a store is trying to catch your eye or you’re sweating at a rave in a basement. The lights intrigue me because it takes a lot of energy and special type of bulb to keep the light on. Isn’t that how life works?

Don’t we all need some energy and special type of ‘something’ to get us along?